You know its me! I saw you last night. w 4 r (minneapolis-the universe)

You know its me! I saw you last night and you looked so intelligent in those glasses and that sweater! Contact me immediately if you’d like to grab coffee or a drink.

Yes, that is from me to you, W(riter) to R(eader).

Confession: I am in love with Missed Connections on Craigslist. I cannot stop looking, and hoping that someone “missed me”. I yearn to pull up M4W and find that a coworker is secretly lusting after me or that someone has “sighted” me at Joe’s and is hoping that one of these days our connected will not go un-missed.

What it is: Missed Connections are in the Personals section of the Craigslist Classified.

It is divided- as all personal ads are- into m4w, m4m, w4m and w4w sections. From there we have a bevy of interesting titles to choose from. For instance, sometimes the posts will be titled by location: eg. Drink friday night or Gold’s Gym Maplewood. Sometimes they will make you think of the (slightly stalkerish) number by Landon Pigg about falling in love at a coffee shop and sometimes they will evoke an even creepier tone- akin to Lionel Richie’s Hello video.


And then:

And then you have the ones that make you believe in love and the possibility of running into that certain someone special. All that mushy, I miss you, I messed up, our connection is missed is taken so literally. I read some of these and think that a Less Jaded Ms. Brimmer could have drummed one of these up back in the day when love was just a word and I still lived with my parents… yes, I’m thinking we’d have to go back that far… the- I think of you often, my sleep is  bothered by dreams of you, “seeing you is like a kick in the gut” and even while I write this I am drinking and am smoking a pack of cigarettes in attempts to forget your face, please don’t mind the missed keystroke connections are inevitable, but have we not lost something by choosing this message board approach to our expressions of love?

Where are the love letters? Has a generation of computer users forgotten about the tender archaism of a letter or evocative subtleties of an e-mail or facebook poke. I am just kidding about the facebook poke, but really, if you miss someone to the point of public post, you’d think an email might just assist with closure- it is pain has a charming cathartic way about it…  It is not to say that love is dead but I wonder if the fire for interpersonal passion has been overwhelmed by some sort of communal loneliness. Paddle your own canoe, and all that. Has American individualism taken it out on even the holiest of holys: The romantic love letter? I have faith that hope cannot be lost, plenty are looking for love. Perhaps it is the delight of anonymity offered by these electronic outlets. Perhaps it is a glossy mag emphasis on how to read your partner/ your lover/ your friend/ your body approach to sex and the mating game that has caused us to pipe down.  Who knows, perhaps all is not lost- Craigslist is searching for  Missed Connections success stories.

I have friends whose connections have been missed in the past. And not like when I missed busses in Boston this June.

Who is to know if the two were really meant to be. If the conversation, had it been started, would have been more than an awkward survey of recent weather or the Twin’s season. If the two would’ve knocked proverbial boots instead of being reduced to a pair of specifically memorable or handsome ones and created the next Joe Lewis instead of the next two lines on a message board… Who knows really if Chapel bells would have rung and, years down the line, rocking chairs would have swayed in nursing homes one fine day. All I can say is, these Missed Connections have their place, just as the personals do, there is a specific set that is going to write them (for the enjoyment and thrill of many) just as there is a specific set (that includes your author) that will hope to find themselves in one of these posts.

And for that I am pleased.  Supply and demand, baby. Supply and Demand.

I say, in these complicated times, a good laugh and a reason to hope are reason enough for me to visit your site.

As a writer I am so very interested in the stories here I can’t stop looking. It is like a delicious, victorious, non-necromantic car wreck. Sure there are casualties, but there can also be lessons learned. The lesson I’ve learned from these queer little snapshots of Sweetheart’s misfortune, is that while they may stem from disaster (perhaps a little hyperbolic here), they really do offer a bit of hope. (“I wore black and was at Barrio last thursday,” or “I have curly hair and ordered a mocha at Caribou, perhaps they’re talking about me, writing about me, noticing but not talking to me???” They offer a little bit of insecurity. (“Why didn’t he/she talk to me, maybe I didn’t look approachable”,
“should I smile more”, “am I too intimidating???”). And they sure as hell offer emotional honesty- even from the seemingly bankrupt and devoid through their anonymity. (“I still think about you every day- text me purgatory if you’re still out there- “, “I still think you’re hot, but you really broke my effing heart, and for that you are a b!@#!”)


While the is offering some individuals an easy out- IT IS NO DIFFERENT than the emotional minefield that is a typical love life.  Filled with the highs and lows, the hot brevity of some relationships, the merceriul temperaments of others and the cool classic “the one that got away” blues…

Man, is life a party.

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