.desire your community.

I am horrible at this.

Today I am writing cover letters or statements of purpose. I am thinking they should be called statements of concern, since I have so many of them.  (I wasn’t even going for humor there, it is just a factoid.)

My name is Lisa Brimmer and I am poet living in Minneapolis.
My name is Lisa Brimmer and I am a Black poet living in Minneapolis.
My name is Lisa Brimmer and I am a Single Black Female poet living in Minneapolis.
My name is…
My name is Lisa Brimmer and I am just the kind of poet you are looking for. I have all the qualities you are looking for in a fellow workshopper, have read all the right people, I am even prone to wear all black and smoke outside of coffee shops, despondently uninterested in everyone except for the pair of 80 year old men that are prized to meet each other once a week to talk about the funerals they have recently attended. I travel well; am well traveled; have trouble paying my utilities; have some identity issues; chronically date the wrong men: am chronically attracted to the wrong men; live on the wrong side of town (for the men I am attracted to): desire your community; desire your community; desire your community.

When you try to be real in these effin’ ( looks cuter than its etymological root) letters, you sound trite and insincere. When you try to sound professional I feel that it comes off cold as anything… cold.  I had formerly approached this process  of graduate school applications with the alacrity of a ten year old and the newest version of Guitar Hero. And now, while still wildly excited at the prospect of finding that there is reason to my existence outside of refills for table 62 and a Mushroom Pepperoni Sausage for the sweet couple at 45, I am filled with all the same unbridled insecurities that probably makes the product I write any good at all.

I feel that when I write my name is Lisa Brimmer, readers are going to know that last name isn’t really mine to sell. I feel that when I say that I am an African American writer they are going to see through my big booty to the long-legged Polish girl and say “Ha we didn’t say Half-rican, we said African”; I feel like they will see through my comments about the Black poetic and experimentation, take one look at a poem with “d”s for “the” s and say so you’ve read Ishmael Reed or Clarence Major that doesn’t make you a poet. Well I’ll tell you one thing. Just as I’ll tell them.

I am discouraged but…

My name is Lisa Brimmer and I desire your community.

Advertisements
Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: